Before my dad left for Taiwan I could sense his effort to establish a relationship with me that we never had. He would cook and ask that I not clean...wonderful days... One day he was in the car with me, and I was listening to the radio. And he was like George, what are they saying... I was like... uhhh... 我是你有看過的最大的老闆 ?
---
I think I have been missing out on a lot lately, from hiding in my house and my apartment these past few years. The exchange of ideas and thoughts, communication, in my opinion is like the foundation of advancement. Advancing in anything and everything! That was why America used to be ownage. When all the races from around the world came together so much was brought from the other countries. The good, and the bad, creating an explosion of upgrading in every field. Agriculture(King Cotton), technology(Industrial Revolution) and crime(Al Capone, the roaring 20's) were all under this.
You may be thinking, way to lump so many fields from centuries into three categories... But I don't kur!
Ever since instant communication became more widely accessible we have lost a big advantage. All we have is what we used to have. That is why countries like Japan and Israel are wrecking us in quality of life/life expectancy/and technology. We did not use what we had when we were a younger country to our advantage. Their schools are top notch not to say ours are not. But the emphasis on education in our culture is completely different, while their schools are designed to fit their culture/vice versa. But what can you expect from a country whose primary export is entertainment.
The Euro is defecating on the dollar, and only Mexicans will continue to want to move into the US, only because they're too poor to go to Europe. Countries around the world are beginning to prosper as well. Certain cities are popping up that have not been nearly as developed within the past 10 years. Look at Vietnam, China, and Singapore... Soon no one will want to come to America, why move when you can get the same quality of life in your home country..?
Anyways. Communication! In my freshman year, I learned how to kind of cook, do laundry, and work out. Having (mature)roommates helped me learn so much that I miss them. Not only did I make them do everything I didn't want to do, buy a lot of toiletries, they also showed me how they lived. By watching the little things that people do, you can take the good, and add it to your own. (Putting Bread in the Freezer, Peanut Butter + Honey Sandwiches, etc...)
Communicating is also especially important spiritually, I know if I'm not chilling with God, or praying, I am going to miss out on so much. The same with fellowship! Encouragement and encouraging is crucial as well as accountability. I just pray that I can always keep learning and being who he wants.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Commendatori
Recently I began to watch The Sopranos. Why? Because it has won 5/21(nominations) Emmys and a Golden Globe for its 6 seasons and is the most successful Cable Television show, ever. It has been very enthralling and well written. The characters are all believable people that you never want to be, and the only people that you ever feel sorry for are the victims of the main characters. But after 3 seasons I think I'm gonna call it quits; I feel like I'm not learning/getting anything healthy from it, yet have gotten a taste of the effort and art behind it. There's only so many people they can introduce and whack em before it gets old.
To counter-balance the values of loyalty and family in every episode there is in no short supply the amount of breasts and demanding sexual language shown/expressed. The timing of the outbursts are predictable and frequent but the language and actions followed are not. Watching the people's rudeness towards each other brings me sadistic joy.
I don't know why, but I have always felt like a dumbace. It might be because I hung out with constant berating older cousins and classmates that I feel an obligation to have a high spirit of learning. This need to learn has lead me to watch animes, documentaries, and shows which I would know nothing about. IE Go, Boxing, Dolphin Soldiers, Worst Jobs Ever. I find it a waste of time just to watch things now just for entertainment when they're about lame topics or in lame settings. I get that enough watching regular movies! Watch multiple hour long shows of complete made up pulp shi*boop*?, no thanks. When I watch things, I have to walk away with something, knowledge, social commentary, history, random facts, anything!
---
I found this Asian torrent site(requires registration) for Japanese, Korean, Cantonese and Mandarin movies. Despite its low popularity and frequent amount of softcore porn on there; it is very up to date and has the newest movies!
No. I don't download the porn. The only thing worse than Asian porn is Asian porn from Asia.
To counter-balance the values of loyalty and family in every episode there is in no short supply the amount of breasts and demanding sexual language shown/expressed. The timing of the outbursts are predictable and frequent but the language and actions followed are not. Watching the people's rudeness towards each other brings me sadistic joy.
I don't know why, but I have always felt like a dumbace. It might be because I hung out with constant berating older cousins and classmates that I feel an obligation to have a high spirit of learning. This need to learn has lead me to watch animes, documentaries, and shows which I would know nothing about. IE Go, Boxing, Dolphin Soldiers, Worst Jobs Ever. I find it a waste of time just to watch things now just for entertainment when they're about lame topics or in lame settings. I get that enough watching regular movies! Watch multiple hour long shows of complete made up pulp shi*boop*?, no thanks. When I watch things, I have to walk away with something, knowledge, social commentary, history, random facts, anything!
---
I found this Asian torrent site(requires registration) for Japanese, Korean, Cantonese and Mandarin movies. Despite its low popularity and frequent amount of softcore porn on there; it is very up to date and has the newest movies!
No. I don't download the porn. The only thing worse than Asian porn is Asian porn from Asia.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Even Less Fun
Obama won, not surprising at all. I will unfairly assume that it is only because of the nations new profound sense of self righteousness which has only expressed its own insecurity of racial equality. I will also unfairly assume a lot of it is in ignorance.
I feel like one of the few people in the world that could care less that Obama is the first black president of the US. How people hype it up is so irritating when there was already Condoleezza Rice(first woman as national security advisor) and Colin Powell, who was from Harlem. It's like their accomplishments are considered nothing to Obama's. Everyone knew it was going to happen one day. There was a black president in the show, 24, and that was realistic enough for me. The Game said it best when he said " fu*boop* Jesse Jackson cause it ain't about race now.
Now that white people have been de-throned it has made me less happy to see what I hope is not an ignorant mass. The embrace of ring-tone rap, soulja boy garbage, have all been telling me that that is not the case. The Krunk Derrtty South style has gone so awry. They add a a few bells and taps, change the pitch of some of the instrumentals, say someone's name for the hook, and bam, million dollars. The peak of materialism and ignorance is at a new apex, showcased by so many rappers and celebrities.
However after watching the 11th hour I feel a little bit better. Even though I shouldn't. Most of the movie was saying how much we were destroying the planet. It kept reminding me of the science fiction movie, Contact.
The feeling of impending doom is reserved for later generations in my opinion. My children are so boned! The movie showed some new innovations that were more environment friendly and a lot of it was function>fashion stuff. The feeling of efficiency and well thought plans shown made me bust a nut. It was like I was watching Stardust for the first time.
I have been writing a short story for one of my Literature classes, so I have been feeling lyrically drained...thus, lack of posts/quality. ;x
I feel like one of the few people in the world that could care less that Obama is the first black president of the US. How people hype it up is so irritating when there was already Condoleezza Rice(first woman as national security advisor) and Colin Powell, who was from Harlem. It's like their accomplishments are considered nothing to Obama's. Everyone knew it was going to happen one day. There was a black president in the show, 24, and that was realistic enough for me. The Game said it best when he said " fu*boop* Jesse Jackson cause it ain't about race now.
Now that white people have been de-throned it has made me less happy to see what I hope is not an ignorant mass. The embrace of ring-tone rap, soulja boy garbage, have all been telling me that that is not the case. The Krunk Derrtty South style has gone so awry. They add a a few bells and taps, change the pitch of some of the instrumentals, say someone's name for the hook, and bam, million dollars. The peak of materialism and ignorance is at a new apex, showcased by so many rappers and celebrities.
However after watching the 11th hour I feel a little bit better. Even though I shouldn't. Most of the movie was saying how much we were destroying the planet. It kept reminding me of the science fiction movie, Contact.
Panel member: If you were to meet these Vegans, and were permitted only one question to ask of them, what would it be?
Ellie Arroway: Well, I suppose it would be, how did you do it? How did you evolve, how did you survive this technological adolescence without destroying yourself?
The feeling of impending doom is reserved for later generations in my opinion. My children are so boned! The movie showed some new innovations that were more environment friendly and a lot of it was function>fashion stuff. The feeling of efficiency and well thought plans shown made me bust a nut. It was like I was watching Stardust for the first time.
I have been writing a short story for one of my Literature classes, so I have been feeling lyrically drained...thus, lack of posts/quality. ;x
Saturday, October 25, 2008
No Fun
In elementary school, I wished I was white. White girls were hotter (probably since I hardly ever saw any Asians except the late Trini Kwan). There was a white girl named Stephanie that I thought was hot. We were good friends and I would get fresh with her all the time but for some reason I thought since I was Asian, it was like, impossible to git-git-git with her. Like, physically, impossible. It was like they had a square, and I had a sphere. And it didn't fit. We were both geometric shapes, but we could not interact.
There were only about 4 other Asians in my grade and we were discriminated against often. But it all changed in Middle School/Junior High. Mexicans, Blacks and other minorities came on the scene and it was good to have enemies of my enemies. Soon it was white-boy this, white-boy that. Blacks and Whites would fight, then Mexicans on Mexicans, Blacks and Mexicans and it went on. I was a minority and because of that, I was automatically inducted in to the against-white-bois club. No one teased me when I danced or expressively enjoyed rap/hip hop/r&b, because I wasn't white.
While my best friends were all white, it was easy to hold the rest of the race in spite, even though I was in the company of the coolest cats.
Now as I'm in my senior year of college, white privilege is still alive and well, but it's tiring to think about. It's old. It seems like white people are now allowed to enjoy hip hop/rap/r&b without too much whiplash from the African-American sects. The next president is probably Obama, in a few years white people will become the minority, it would seem like the "fight" is over. Except white people will still command most of the wealth of the country. They will be in the tallest buildings with the newest iPods and Nintendo DS's while segwaying somewhere where I hope they will hurt themselves.
It's not fun to discriminate against them anymore. I now enjoy more than ever before the derrtty Southern culture, our hospitality, the crosses on our backs, our cowboy boots, outdoor barbecues and pick up trucks. The racial undertones only adds to the flavor of the South. Maybe I can say all this so proudly because I live in a suburban Dallas... But anyways. The race wars is over, and replaced by class wars. The gap between the richest and poorest grow further even in America. And it only gets worse around the world. Just don't get me started on Yellow Fever.
Racism has always been kind of like the cool thing for me. Of course I don't approve of it and I find it to be one of the most ridiculous institutions, ever. But it interests me to know the history behind the hate. We were all taught to hate something, at sometime(If you're Asian). And I like to know why... Armenian Genocide, Rape of Nanjing, Holocaust, Hutus and Tutsis, Empress Myeongseong's murder/rape, Destruction of Native Americans/Trail of Tears, Hindus in Pakistan, Russians and Germans during WW2, and the list goes on and on.
There were only about 4 other Asians in my grade and we were discriminated against often. But it all changed in Middle School/Junior High. Mexicans, Blacks and other minorities came on the scene and it was good to have enemies of my enemies. Soon it was white-boy this, white-boy that. Blacks and Whites would fight, then Mexicans on Mexicans, Blacks and Mexicans and it went on. I was a minority and because of that, I was automatically inducted in to the against-white-bois club. No one teased me when I danced or expressively enjoyed rap/hip hop/r&b, because I wasn't white.
While my best friends were all white, it was easy to hold the rest of the race in spite, even though I was in the company of the coolest cats.
Now as I'm in my senior year of college, white privilege is still alive and well, but it's tiring to think about. It's old. It seems like white people are now allowed to enjoy hip hop/rap/r&b without too much whiplash from the African-American sects. The next president is probably Obama, in a few years white people will become the minority, it would seem like the "fight" is over. Except white people will still command most of the wealth of the country. They will be in the tallest buildings with the newest iPods and Nintendo DS's while segwaying somewhere where I hope they will hurt themselves.
It's not fun to discriminate against them anymore. I now enjoy more than ever before the derrtty Southern culture, our hospitality, the crosses on our backs, our cowboy boots, outdoor barbecues and pick up trucks. The racial undertones only adds to the flavor of the South. Maybe I can say all this so proudly because I live in a suburban Dallas... But anyways. The race wars is over, and replaced by class wars. The gap between the richest and poorest grow further even in America. And it only gets worse around the world. Just don't get me started on Yellow Fever.
Racism has always been kind of like the cool thing for me. Of course I don't approve of it and I find it to be one of the most ridiculous institutions, ever. But it interests me to know the history behind the hate. We were all taught to hate something, at sometime(If you're Asian). And I like to know why... Armenian Genocide, Rape of Nanjing, Holocaust, Hutus and Tutsis, Empress Myeongseong's murder/rape, Destruction of Native Americans/Trail of Tears, Hindus in Pakistan, Russians and Germans during WW2, and the list goes on and on.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Guilty Pleasure
Lately I have been feeling disappointed. A good friend told me lately, a lot of your posts are pretty debbie-downers. It's true. This year has been unlucky and by crediting it with my misfortunes it only seems to be feeding the opposing abyss, like fire fighters spraying gasoline from their high powered hoses onto a burning house.
Even for simple errands, I think of worst case scenarios and end up having plan B's and C's. And often times have to execute Plan D. To list/rant about them would just be giving them too much credit.
---
It is a guilty pleasure if you will. I wait until all the members of my family leave the house, close the blinds, close the door to my room, take off my shirt, get the material out from a drawer and make sure no one is around before I...read. And then when people come home they bust open the door, I fumble around, throwing the book in my drawer, slamming it, rustling papers frantically, and people become suspicious of other activities.
Even for simple errands, I think of worst case scenarios and end up having plan B's and C's. And often times have to execute Plan D. To list/rant about them would just be giving them too much credit.
---
It is a guilty pleasure if you will. I wait until all the members of my family leave the house, close the blinds, close the door to my room, take off my shirt, get the material out from a drawer and make sure no one is around before I...read. And then when people come home they bust open the door, I fumble around, throwing the book in my drawer, slamming it, rustling papers frantically, and people become suspicious of other activities.
Mother: What...were you uhh...doing?For a class I have been forced to read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I have finished the first book by listening to about 1/5th of it on audio books, reading 1/5 of it in chapter summaries and then just straight up reading the rest of the 60% of the book. And it is has been a joy in my life, no joke. I feel so nerdy busting a nut thinking this is like the best book since the Bible and The Little Blue Truck. It has soOo many Biblical themes...
Me: Nothin, you know... just, lookin'...doing homework.
Mother: Why are you...shirtless?
Me: It's hot.
Mother: It's like 70 degrees...
Me: I just took a shower...
Mother: How come your hair is dry?
Me: I didn't wash it today... I wore a shower cap.
Mother: I didn't know you had one, why are you in the same clothes as earli---
Me: You know what, Mom... I got a test tomorrow, I really need to study.
Mother: I see... well there's food in the fridge...
Falling into temptationMy annual limit of reading is about a book per year... And I always catch myself asking people what's a library..? what's a read..? So reading is infrequent for me. When people know you read books, they expect you to know things and have an excellent command of the English language, which I have all failed to live up to, a lot. Stopping people midway into their stories to ask what they are alluding to, what a word means, etc... And the bitter taste of these humility sandwiches are as nasty as black jellybeans, the originals.
Knowing your own weaknesses
Humility
Resisting/fleeing temptation
Using the weak to lead the strong
Sacrifice of yourself for your friends
Doing what you must for the greater good
Unconditional love/loyalty
Redemption
You vs the World
Serving 2 Masters
Twisting what has already been created
Friend: Hey George you want to go eat right now?Socially I am in decline, because I secretively read...all day, all night.
Me: Nah I uhh... I got to uhh... water my lawn
Friend: Oh, what? Didn't you water it a few days ago?
Me: Yeah, it's real thirsty.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Story Dump Trois
Lately things have been pretty busy, and I am a week behind on this...
This is a conversation I had prior to Taiwan, with a friend of mine.
He actually had heart surgery and is fully recovered. God Bless him.
Later I checked to see my grade, and I got an A...not that it transfers into my school, but it is an awesome gesture.
This is a conversation I had prior to Taiwan, with a friend of mine.
Me: LOL
Chad: ?
Me: i never thought that something like this'd happen to me.
Me: okay, so today i was supposed to take my final for my music appreciation class, cause i'm leaving wednesday for taiwan
Me: which is like... 2-3 weeks earlier than everyone else
Me: and i just took my midterm, thursday
Chad: lol
Me: and there's no school on fridays
Me: so i had to learn 16 chapters on my own, so i filled out my study guide, with wikipedia/bs'ing/accumulated power point notes in notepad form...Me: i emailed my answers to her on sunday, so she could check them
Me: she never got back to me, she was expecting it in WebCT
Chad: haha
Me: but i sent it to her real email...so i go in today, we find out why neither of us got our emails, and she checks my answers on the spot
Me: at the end of class
Me: i'm expecting to take my final
Me: she gives a final spiel on what remains of the class
Me: and then is like, what i've seen from your study guide
Me: will count as your final
Me: have a nice trip. i enjoyed having you in my class.
Chad: ...
Chad: I hate you
Chad: I had heart surgery and my teacher's making me take my test
Me: LOL
Chad: you get to go on a fun vacation
He actually had heart surgery and is fully recovered. God Bless him.
Later I checked to see my grade, and I got an A...not that it transfers into my school, but it is an awesome gesture.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Fourty Fo's
Ever since I returned from my trip to Taiwan I have been hankering for a taste of the good ol' 12-starred nation. However before I left, I preemptively chose Business Chinese as a class for an elective. It sounded easy, no pre-requirements, and since I took Advanced Mandarin-1 in my freshman year, I figured, I got this in-the-bag. And God knows, I've needed a GPA boost since like 7th grade...
So I go in on the first day, feeling pretty confident this class was beneath me... The teacher like the one that taught my freshman Mandarin class was also from mainland China. His English is... understandable and he comprehends pretty well, but his ability to speak/recall words is a bit slow as he hesitates between nouns... It kind of reminds me of Ross from Friends...x3.
Anyways. More than about half the kids in the class are from Taiwan, or grew up speaking Mandarin, and abilities far exceed mine. The other half were of other ethnicities having never spoken a word or very limited Mandarin.
We spend the first day introducing ourselves and then learning the lesson...How to say, ni hao... (hello). Literally, we spend the entire class period on those, two, words. After we thought the worst was over, he would break the words up... and then the syllables. It was like a chopped and screwed remix marathon that radios play at night. Eventually... He began to act the dialogue out...By saying "ni hao", then shaking each of our, hands...All 13 of us.
What was so ironic about this was because his English was so bad, he'd often speak in Mandarin. However, while he was explaining the lesson in Mandarin, he spoke in a level significantly higher than the lesson. So while we were learning level 1 Chinese, he'd speak in like, level 30 Chinese, so to speak... After class, everyone was pissed off for having to pay for such a class...While I smiled. FREE A, BABY! I thought.
Two classes later, after more torture of various forms of 'ni hao'... He introduces a new book. It was in full blown simplified chinese, first chapter is about airports, customs, passports, and taxes. Low and behold, within two class periods the class shrunk down to around nine students with me being the worst student.
I was hesitant to buy the book... it's simplified, I don't want to learn that garbage! I want to learn the full traditional shi-bang. So for days I searched on-campus/off-campus bookstores, and eventually was forced to ordered a used-copy from Amazon. I had to wait about a week before it came and had to share books with fellow-classmates. I felt so turned off by the simplified language I foolishly ignored that class.
When the book came in, I felt so anxious. I chopped it open with an axe, when it was sealed in a manilla envelope. OH BOY, I can finally learn, I thought. Slipped that sucker out, and bam. It was the simplified version... What the fu*boop*! Why is life so hard... I thought. My first thoughts were to give the guy I bought it from some serious lip. But I figured I'd use it first before I returned it until I got the traditional...
Unmotivated and unexcited I got like a 54 on the first quiz(Out of 100). Awesome. A classmate of mine had the traditional, she also ordered it from Amazon...Bitterly I went back and ordered a new copy. I did the homeworks with the used book I bought.
The next week the new copy was delivered. I drove through the cardboard box with chainsaw-ferocity. OH BOY, I can finally learn, I thought. I slipped it out and saw it was once again simplified... My house resembled pretty much any cable-reality tv show when there's an altercation, or Jerry Springer. My mouth became an everlasting fountain of pure phallic imagery, cursing, and overbearing/unreasonable demands from Amazon, the user that sold the book to me and the teacher.
----
A few days later when my rant was over my dad offered to type up the chapter for me in traditional Chinese... I obliged, and then ran it through some online translaters to help me study. This is not bad I thought. He was going back to Taiwan and offered to take the other book and help type things up for me and send them to me. It's the one thing he could teach me, he joked. I was able to study that week.
Next week I get my quiz back... Fourty-four. Nevermind the fact that the test was in simplified, and I was a bit slow in reading it. Nevermind the fact that most of my classmates studied and those that weren't born in Asia still scored below a 70%. Nevermind the fact that those who were already fluent in Mandarin barely finished before the time limit, anyways. And nevermind the fact he disliked our answers to open questions because they were not word for word from the book. However I will mind that he gave us 15-20 minutes for a quiz that was front and back and then said the reason we sucked it up, was because we didn't study. What the fu*boop*.
So I go in on the first day, feeling pretty confident this class was beneath me... The teacher like the one that taught my freshman Mandarin class was also from mainland China. His English is... understandable and he comprehends pretty well, but his ability to speak/recall words is a bit slow as he hesitates between nouns... It kind of reminds me of Ross from Friends...x3.
Anyways. More than about half the kids in the class are from Taiwan, or grew up speaking Mandarin, and abilities far exceed mine. The other half were of other ethnicities having never spoken a word or very limited Mandarin.
We spend the first day introducing ourselves and then learning the lesson...How to say, ni hao... (hello). Literally, we spend the entire class period on those, two, words. After we thought the worst was over, he would break the words up... and then the syllables. It was like a chopped and screwed remix marathon that radios play at night. Eventually... He began to act the dialogue out...By saying "ni hao", then shaking each of our, hands...All 13 of us.
What was so ironic about this was because his English was so bad, he'd often speak in Mandarin. However, while he was explaining the lesson in Mandarin, he spoke in a level significantly higher than the lesson. So while we were learning level 1 Chinese, he'd speak in like, level 30 Chinese, so to speak... After class, everyone was pissed off for having to pay for such a class...While I smiled. FREE A, BABY! I thought.
Two classes later, after more torture of various forms of 'ni hao'... He introduces a new book. It was in full blown simplified chinese, first chapter is about airports, customs, passports, and taxes. Low and behold, within two class periods the class shrunk down to around nine students with me being the worst student.
I was hesitant to buy the book... it's simplified, I don't want to learn that garbage! I want to learn the full traditional shi-bang. So for days I searched on-campus/off-campus bookstores, and eventually was forced to ordered a used-copy from Amazon. I had to wait about a week before it came and had to share books with fellow-classmates. I felt so turned off by the simplified language I foolishly ignored that class.
When the book came in, I felt so anxious. I chopped it open with an axe, when it was sealed in a manilla envelope. OH BOY, I can finally learn, I thought. Slipped that sucker out, and bam. It was the simplified version... What the fu*boop*! Why is life so hard... I thought. My first thoughts were to give the guy I bought it from some serious lip. But I figured I'd use it first before I returned it until I got the traditional...
Unmotivated and unexcited I got like a 54 on the first quiz(Out of 100). Awesome. A classmate of mine had the traditional, she also ordered it from Amazon...Bitterly I went back and ordered a new copy. I did the homeworks with the used book I bought.
The next week the new copy was delivered. I drove through the cardboard box with chainsaw-ferocity. OH BOY, I can finally learn, I thought. I slipped it out and saw it was once again simplified... My house resembled pretty much any cable-reality tv show when there's an altercation, or Jerry Springer. My mouth became an everlasting fountain of pure phallic imagery, cursing, and overbearing/unreasonable demands from Amazon, the user that sold the book to me and the teacher.
----
A few days later when my rant was over my dad offered to type up the chapter for me in traditional Chinese... I obliged, and then ran it through some online translaters to help me study. This is not bad I thought. He was going back to Taiwan and offered to take the other book and help type things up for me and send them to me. It's the one thing he could teach me, he joked. I was able to study that week.
Next week I get my quiz back... Fourty-four. Nevermind the fact that the test was in simplified, and I was a bit slow in reading it. Nevermind the fact that most of my classmates studied and those that weren't born in Asia still scored below a 70%. Nevermind the fact that those who were already fluent in Mandarin barely finished before the time limit, anyways. And nevermind the fact he disliked our answers to open questions because they were not word for word from the book. However I will mind that he gave us 15-20 minutes for a quiz that was front and back and then said the reason we sucked it up, was because we didn't study. What the fu*boop*.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Story Dump Deux
Doh It
Before class took my Thursday nights away I used to attend a Christian College Fellowship. In my freshman year it was a fair size of around 15 regulars. My best friend, Mack, agreed to accompany me on the speculation that there would a new set of female faces.
Afterward we would usually hang around and loiter at the venue. While I was catching up with an old friend of mine, Mack for some unbeknown reason was trying to break dance. His handicap was only that he did not know how... he found that his awkward attempts of off-beat jumping and hand shuffling was very discouraging...soon he was just doing Tae Kwon Do moves... Jumping snap-kicks, round houses, inside/outside crescent kicks isolated him from others until ---
Josh: OWWW...aww... my... oww...
Mack: What happened?
Josh: YOU KICKED ME... IN MY GROIN.
Mack: What...I didn't feel a thing. Why would you walk into my kicks, anyways?!
Josh: I didn't! It HURTS!
Mack: Don't be such a girl... I barely touched you...I'm sorry.
Josh: awWw...Ow....
Apparently one of Mack's roundhouses had lightly brushed Josh's scrotum, through his pants. This is awkward, I thought, as the whole room's attention was soon given to the two in the middle. The incident did not die down at all, as Josh continued to complain and give Mack a hard time.
Me: Let him kick you back in the crotch!
I joked. Fully forgetting Mack's extremely masochistic-competitive nature.
Mack: You know what, that's a good idea, here Josh, kick me back.
Josh: ...What..?
Mack: Here, return the favor..!
Mack shifted his footing, spreading the distance between his feet. Mack started taunting Josh with his hands as if he was a wrestler, commanding/demanding sexual innuendo. Oh my God...This is so dumb...But awesome! I thought.
Jason: Hey, tuck your jeans under your feet, so it'll reduce the impact!
Jason chuckled as he commented. Jason was another member.
Mack: That's a good idea..! (Mack smiles as he kicks off his sandal and tucks the ends of his jeans under his heels, and stands on his jeans with his legs spread apart, creating a trampoline-like damage reduction?)
Almost shouting...Mack continued to taunt Josh.
Mack: C'mon, bring it! Doh it.
Josh: uhh... (Josh gets into a good posture but looks very hesitant)
Josh: aww... You sure?
Mack: Doh it!
Mack began chopping his crotch to demonstrate the resilience of his new found impact-mitigating technique.
Mack: Doh it!
The girls came in from outside, finishing their gossip just in time to see Mack, with his legs spread, chopping at his crotch. His taunts became louder and his chops faster and harder until --- *TSHERRR* ... Mack's hand did not come back up for another chop. I had already made my way up to the front row of this show...to see that Mack had chopped a hole into his pants, in front of everyone... Everyone began to laugh, and Mack began to exhibit his boxers to everyone.
Before class took my Thursday nights away I used to attend a Christian College Fellowship. In my freshman year it was a fair size of around 15 regulars. My best friend, Mack, agreed to accompany me on the speculation that there would a new set of female faces.
Afterward we would usually hang around and loiter at the venue. While I was catching up with an old friend of mine, Mack for some unbeknown reason was trying to break dance. His handicap was only that he did not know how... he found that his awkward attempts of off-beat jumping and hand shuffling was very discouraging...soon he was just doing Tae Kwon Do moves... Jumping snap-kicks, round houses, inside/outside crescent kicks isolated him from others until ---
Josh: OWWW...aww... my... oww...
Mack: What happened?
Josh: YOU KICKED ME... IN MY GROIN.
Mack: What...I didn't feel a thing. Why would you walk into my kicks, anyways?!
Josh: I didn't! It HURTS!
Mack: Don't be such a girl... I barely touched you...I'm sorry.
Josh: awWw...Ow....
Apparently one of Mack's roundhouses had lightly brushed Josh's scrotum, through his pants. This is awkward, I thought, as the whole room's attention was soon given to the two in the middle. The incident did not die down at all, as Josh continued to complain and give Mack a hard time.
Me: Let him kick you back in the crotch!
I joked. Fully forgetting Mack's extremely masochistic-competitive nature.
Mack: You know what, that's a good idea, here Josh, kick me back.
Josh: ...What..?
Mack: Here, return the favor..!
Mack shifted his footing, spreading the distance between his feet. Mack started taunting Josh with his hands as if he was a wrestler, commanding/demanding sexual innuendo. Oh my God...This is so dumb...But awesome! I thought.
Jason: Hey, tuck your jeans under your feet, so it'll reduce the impact!
Jason chuckled as he commented. Jason was another member.
Mack: That's a good idea..! (Mack smiles as he kicks off his sandal and tucks the ends of his jeans under his heels, and stands on his jeans with his legs spread apart, creating a trampoline-like damage reduction?)
Almost shouting...Mack continued to taunt Josh.
Mack: C'mon, bring it! Doh it.
Josh: uhh... (Josh gets into a good posture but looks very hesitant)
Josh: aww... You sure?
Mack: Doh it!
Mack began chopping his crotch to demonstrate the resilience of his new found impact-mitigating technique.
Mack: Doh it!
The girls came in from outside, finishing their gossip just in time to see Mack, with his legs spread, chopping at his crotch. His taunts became louder and his chops faster and harder until --- *TSHERRR* ... Mack's hand did not come back up for another chop. I had already made my way up to the front row of this show...to see that Mack had chopped a hole into his pants, in front of everyone... Everyone began to laugh, and Mack began to exhibit his boxers to everyone.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Story Dump
Right now I am currently working on another project and it is eating all of my creativity! But to keep readers truly entertained, I will share some of my favorite stories as the days go by.
Snow Globe
In my freshman year of college I was very open and to hanging out with pretty much anyone. So I accompanied my friend, Anthony, to his friend, Josh's apartment during my free time. We were chilling, checking out his room, admiring how his Cantonese roots have decorated his room. He was wealthy. Binders of burnt games/DVDs/CDs, ace-load of food, condiments, Chinese calligraphy scrolls, jade mini-statues, books, and mysterious files enclosed most of his room except the entrance/exit and the door to the bathroom.
As they were working out their business, and asking for notes/quizzes I fooled around with his trinkets and toys. I must have had a heavily enriched diet that afternoon, because I was very hyper.
I saw a beautiful snow globe on the bottom shelf of one of his cabinets. I picked it up and shook it lightly. I knew if my best friend was there, he would have said I was the biggest pussy cat in the entire Animal Shelter. He would also add that a quadriplegic 10 year old girl would be able to shake it harder than that.
I began to shake it harder and faster like the heaviest salt shaker that had no holes for salt to escape. This would not do, I thought.
So I stood up and widened my stance, slightly wider than shoulder-length apart with my knees, bent and did the most exaggerated vertical dice throwing motion. If Anthony or Josh were close enough they may have been knocked out by my semi-diagonal uppercutting trajectory.
They turn to me dumb-founded as I repeatedly created and kept the biggest blizzard that snow-globe's community has ever seen!
---STOP!!! What the hell are you doing!
Josh took it from my hands. He frowned. I frowned. Anthony was shocked. My snow-globe-shaking-party was over.
Josh: Why the hell would you do that?!
Me: Why wouldn't I; it's a snow globe...
Josh: No, it's not!!!
Wha? What's this FOB talking about? I thought. I looked closer. Slowly and slowly... the snow-flakes were no longer snow-flakes... but rocks, and pebbles. The trees were no longer trees, but algae. I had just shook the shi*boop* out of an ecosphere. My tone was soon apologetic, after Anthony explained to me what it was. Meanwhile...
Josh: Oh my God, they're all gone... all dead! As I felt like a murderer, I took it from him and we all examined my infliction of a natural disaster. One by one, those red shrimps surfaced through the debris.
Me: See, no biggie... I said as I sighed with relief.
Josh: There's supposed to be 7! There's only 6!
Oh God.
Snow Globe
In my freshman year of college I was very open and to hanging out with pretty much anyone. So I accompanied my friend, Anthony, to his friend, Josh's apartment during my free time. We were chilling, checking out his room, admiring how his Cantonese roots have decorated his room. He was wealthy. Binders of burnt games/DVDs/CDs, ace-load of food, condiments, Chinese calligraphy scrolls, jade mini-statues, books, and mysterious files enclosed most of his room except the entrance/exit and the door to the bathroom.
As they were working out their business, and asking for notes/quizzes I fooled around with his trinkets and toys. I must have had a heavily enriched diet that afternoon, because I was very hyper.
I saw a beautiful snow globe on the bottom shelf of one of his cabinets. I picked it up and shook it lightly. I knew if my best friend was there, he would have said I was the biggest pussy cat in the entire Animal Shelter. He would also add that a quadriplegic 10 year old girl would be able to shake it harder than that.
I began to shake it harder and faster like the heaviest salt shaker that had no holes for salt to escape. This would not do, I thought.
So I stood up and widened my stance, slightly wider than shoulder-length apart with my knees, bent and did the most exaggerated vertical dice throwing motion. If Anthony or Josh were close enough they may have been knocked out by my semi-diagonal uppercutting trajectory.
They turn to me dumb-founded as I repeatedly created and kept the biggest blizzard that snow-globe's community has ever seen!
---STOP!!! What the hell are you doing!
Josh took it from my hands. He frowned. I frowned. Anthony was shocked. My snow-globe-shaking-party was over.
Josh: Why the hell would you do that?!
Me: Why wouldn't I; it's a snow globe...
Josh: No, it's not!!!
Wha? What's this FOB talking about? I thought. I looked closer. Slowly and slowly... the snow-flakes were no longer snow-flakes... but rocks, and pebbles. The trees were no longer trees, but algae. I had just shook the shi*boop* out of an ecosphere. My tone was soon apologetic, after Anthony explained to me what it was. Meanwhile...
Josh: Oh my God, they're all gone... all dead! As I felt like a murderer, I took it from him and we all examined my infliction of a natural disaster. One by one, those red shrimps surfaced through the debris.
Me: See, no biggie... I said as I sighed with relief.
Josh: There's supposed to be 7! There's only 6!
Oh God.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Commencer
There was once a boy named Hong Hai Er(紅孩兒) who had no friends. But we will call him Red. A lot of his classmates were acquaintances; they would not share their crayons with him, and he would most definitely not invite them to his birthday party of 1000 people, either. Red was the type of boy who would only be loved by his Mother. Many of the kids picked on him because of his name, dimensions and race. So on a lonely night as Red hugged his Friend Bear (Carebear with flowers on her stomach), he prayed to God for a friend.
“If there was a God, he’d send me a friend.”
The next day a girl named Steph was a new student to their school. Coincident or not, Red refused to befriend her, she was a girl and had a peculiar Vietnamese accent. Vietnamese or not, girls had coodies and Red did not want _any_ of that all up on his body.
Because they were both considered foreign students they were put into ESL/ESOL classes and saw each other often. Hostilities naturally grew between them when (platonic) love did not.
Red made fun of her a lot, to the point where he would have to have an awkward reconciliation with her almost 5 years later. He would learn that he had scarred her deeply as she did have problems with her father and just recently moving to a place where she too had no friends did not help. But that lesson of guilt is for another time.
As if a panther waiting for vulnerable moments to pounce his prey, Red would wait for moments to slip in sly comments and hurtful statements. With an arsenal of a mouth and words like daggers it felt good to drop the heaviest of disses on Steph. Each tear she shed made him feel like he won a thousand dollars. And everyday he’d feel like a millionaire.
But as schools changed Red hardly saw her. Good riddance. He thought.
Years later, still feeling companion-less he tried it out again.
“ If there was a God, he'd send me another friend.”
The next day there was Kim, 6th grade, a Korean girl on the verge of turning A-Z-N. Red refused to talk to her too; she was _real_ frumpy, and once again a girl. He only saw her a few times a week and he figured it was a wasted effort. Her blunt and belligerent attitude scared him as well. So Red, dismissed any thoughts of reaching out…Fu*boop* that. He thought.
As time went on, Red felt empty and watched as Steph and Kim became skinnier, prettier and more popular each year. However his pride would not let that get the best of him, when he heard rumors of things like “anal itching cream” and the sort, it only reinforced his thoughts of staying away from them and how much better off he was without them.
At the beginning of Junior High school. ---Red says.
“ If there was a God, he'd send me…more friends.”
He went to class the next day and found Nami and Leslie in his first period AP English class. They sat in the back behind him. Feeling like he should befriend them, he was but too afraid. Affirmation and appreciation was not received often by Red so insecurities ran high and shyness was never lacking. Though they were also all in the same Orchestra for a long time together he returned their pleasantries but never really spoke to them or tried to get to know them.
Red’s tenure was plentiful with empty companionship from his computer. For years it went on, and Red fattened, and became sociably worse. No proms. No banquets. No hanging out. Though the truth was that he didn’t bother trying to find a date…but he also didn’t have people to go with, or a car to take him anywhere.
While others reminisce about high school in the future Red will never be able to share in it.
All grown up at the age of 18, holding Friend-Bear tightly as it soaked up all his tears, Red says…
“If there was a God, he’d send me…even more friends.”
Feeling like he should finally apply the lessons he learned he decided to be more outgoing and treat others like he would like to be treated. Though Red was socially and emotionally stunted in growth, his long enduring pain of loneliness and the extended period to play by himself, created a strange character out of him. His sense of humor and creativity amused others and attracted friends and strangers.
There was free food that night. Red half awakened by the noise at 8PM while holding his sponge of tears, Friend Bear, sees the pizza from his window. He kicked out his front door and scurried downstairs. He greeted all his acquaintances and loaded up his plate with pizza, and stands right next to the boxes so he can refill immediately. It was all for quicker efficiency before those other ignoramuses could take his pizza, Red made sandwiches out of the pizza, using pizza as the meat and bun. He’d take the biggest bites he could and swallow, chewing as little as possible, if at all.
Red was not fond of the food…
Man this tastes like a bucket of jiz.----“Hi… I’m Luke. “
Can’t talk, eating. Red thought, but said…“Oh, hi, I’m Red…”
"!...My friends told me about you… they said you’re really funny and that I should be looking out for you… “ There stood Luke, shirtless, wet from the pool, and shoulder to shoulder sandwiched between two women that made even the oldest of heads turn and the coldest of blood boil.
Many people would not be surprised if they heard Luke actually washed clothes on his abs, which he did. Or that he slept on a pile of beautiful women, which he denies, but is true. His body was so chiseled and sculpted that it looked like he should be bleeding from multiple parts of his body.
So that was how Red met Luke. As time progressed Red was becoming better friends with the few that came with him to the local college from his high school. As Red went to sleep a few months later, holding a moldy and tear-stained Friend-Bear he thought to himself…
If there was a God, he has shown himself to me.
“If there was a God, he’d send me a friend.”
The next day a girl named Steph was a new student to their school. Coincident or not, Red refused to befriend her, she was a girl and had a peculiar Vietnamese accent. Vietnamese or not, girls had coodies and Red did not want _any_ of that all up on his body.
Because they were both considered foreign students they were put into ESL/ESOL classes and saw each other often. Hostilities naturally grew between them when (platonic) love did not.
Red made fun of her a lot, to the point where he would have to have an awkward reconciliation with her almost 5 years later. He would learn that he had scarred her deeply as she did have problems with her father and just recently moving to a place where she too had no friends did not help. But that lesson of guilt is for another time.
As if a panther waiting for vulnerable moments to pounce his prey, Red would wait for moments to slip in sly comments and hurtful statements. With an arsenal of a mouth and words like daggers it felt good to drop the heaviest of disses on Steph. Each tear she shed made him feel like he won a thousand dollars. And everyday he’d feel like a millionaire.
But as schools changed Red hardly saw her. Good riddance. He thought.
Years later, still feeling companion-less he tried it out again.
“ If there was a God, he'd send me another friend.”
The next day there was Kim, 6th grade, a Korean girl on the verge of turning A-Z-N. Red refused to talk to her too; she was _real_ frumpy, and once again a girl. He only saw her a few times a week and he figured it was a wasted effort. Her blunt and belligerent attitude scared him as well. So Red, dismissed any thoughts of reaching out…Fu*boop* that. He thought.
As time went on, Red felt empty and watched as Steph and Kim became skinnier, prettier and more popular each year. However his pride would not let that get the best of him, when he heard rumors of things like “anal itching cream” and the sort, it only reinforced his thoughts of staying away from them and how much better off he was without them.
At the beginning of Junior High school. ---Red says.
“ If there was a God, he'd send me…more friends.”
He went to class the next day and found Nami and Leslie in his first period AP English class. They sat in the back behind him. Feeling like he should befriend them, he was but too afraid. Affirmation and appreciation was not received often by Red so insecurities ran high and shyness was never lacking. Though they were also all in the same Orchestra for a long time together he returned their pleasantries but never really spoke to them or tried to get to know them.
Red’s tenure was plentiful with empty companionship from his computer. For years it went on, and Red fattened, and became sociably worse. No proms. No banquets. No hanging out. Though the truth was that he didn’t bother trying to find a date…but he also didn’t have people to go with, or a car to take him anywhere.
While others reminisce about high school in the future Red will never be able to share in it.
All grown up at the age of 18, holding Friend-Bear tightly as it soaked up all his tears, Red says…
“If there was a God, he’d send me…even more friends.”
Feeling like he should finally apply the lessons he learned he decided to be more outgoing and treat others like he would like to be treated. Though Red was socially and emotionally stunted in growth, his long enduring pain of loneliness and the extended period to play by himself, created a strange character out of him. His sense of humor and creativity amused others and attracted friends and strangers.
There was free food that night. Red half awakened by the noise at 8PM while holding his sponge of tears, Friend Bear, sees the pizza from his window. He kicked out his front door and scurried downstairs. He greeted all his acquaintances and loaded up his plate with pizza, and stands right next to the boxes so he can refill immediately. It was all for quicker efficiency before those other ignoramuses could take his pizza, Red made sandwiches out of the pizza, using pizza as the meat and bun. He’d take the biggest bites he could and swallow, chewing as little as possible, if at all.
Red was not fond of the food…
Man this tastes like a bucket of jiz.----“Hi… I’m Luke. “
Can’t talk, eating. Red thought, but said…“Oh, hi, I’m Red…”
"!...My friends told me about you… they said you’re really funny and that I should be looking out for you… “ There stood Luke, shirtless, wet from the pool, and shoulder to shoulder sandwiched between two women that made even the oldest of heads turn and the coldest of blood boil.
Many people would not be surprised if they heard Luke actually washed clothes on his abs, which he did. Or that he slept on a pile of beautiful women, which he denies, but is true. His body was so chiseled and sculpted that it looked like he should be bleeding from multiple parts of his body.
So that was how Red met Luke. As time progressed Red was becoming better friends with the few that came with him to the local college from his high school. As Red went to sleep a few months later, holding a moldy and tear-stained Friend-Bear he thought to himself…
If there was a God, he has shown himself to me.
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