Noveau

I have been thinking for awhile for the latest My Way of the Ninja series but I just couldn't do it. Mainly because there are other things that need to be said. Usually I am not one to make super serious/personal posts. But lately there has been so much going on that I can't just keep what God's been doing in my life to myself.

This Thursday will mark the duration of five weeks in which I have been on an unparalleled spiritual high. An unparalleled level of love for God, reliance on him, and knowledge would be unfair in description to even begin to give what God has done justice.

Challenged, destroyed, rely, renewed, rejoice...over and over. The biggest highlight lately probably was that while during all of this, in what I will name the Third Revival or (Revival III) story arch, I was looking for fruit in all the wrong areas. Wrong areas, as in where it's not my time to blessed in those things. God was at work everywhere else.

Imagine the hired fool that farms peaches, hoping for fruit when only standing between these two barren trees. While oblivious to everything around him, the trees around him have sprouted to an enormous height, age and mass, that can only be described by ambiguous legendary names/terms like Methuselah, Behemoth and Leviathan. The fruits on the trees bloom with peaches that make the peach from James and the Giant Peach, look like a dried shriveled prune that tastes like black jellybeans. And then imagine him getting really upset...Upset that he put so much work and desired the garden to grow, yet he thought he was seeing nothing by only staring at those two trees. Only when he is almost killed by fruit falling from the sky does he realize what has happened. And then he thanks the true Gardener.

Everything is from grace, and we can't earn anything through what we do; I definitely feel that. But we can definitely ready ourselves,(God willing), so we can handle the blessings that God gives us. And I think that was why I was so upset... I felt like I was readying myself up(not to be entrusted with blessings, but just to be closer to God) to the best of my ability, and I saw nothing. So to be a bit more specific to those that want to punch me for not just saying what's been up, this is what God has been doing.

I rely on God a lot more knowing how much of a bucket of suck I am. Quiet times are overly consistent and bring me joy. Countless victories over all kinds of temptations. Prayers are extremely frequent and numerous.

Lastly. Learning God's faithfulness. Lately he has answered so many prayers for my friends, give worth to any work, that I don't even consider work. I see so much growth in my friends and it warms my heart. Weak or broken relationships are being strengthened/healed between me and family members. And I really don't know how to respond to any of this except running out of the room quickly to cry like it's the last few scenes in Titanic and thanking Him. I'm pretty sure I would cry if you asked me to say all of this in person. And I have, to people that I have already talked to, except I usually stuff it down just so it wouldn't interrupt my speech. This has meant a lot to me, and I know it's just the beginning.

I don't say any of this to want to look spiritual at all but that you may/will be encouraged. I know everyone is different in what it takes to encourage them, but if this helps even one, then glory to Him.

I just realized this is the first post of this 'year'...

My Way of the Ninja

Between the emo metrosexuals and the juiced up guidos I feel like there has been a rather lack of new role models for our/my generation. So for myself I have been keeping a steady eye out towards the world ready to steal any ability that I wanted in myself. The people that would be scrupled under my careful eagle eyes are Clint Eastwood, Great Teacher Onizuka, and Jack Bauer.

Here are some things I want to be a part of me until the day I am laid to rest.

Never admit to physical pain,
in front of females/or family in which there are people older than you present.

This article is exempt when any of these conditions are met:

1. A limb has been severed or destroyed.
2. Your body has been pierced by an object which has left the wound with the size greater than an inch in diameter.
3. You have been burned with metal/steam/water with a resulting surface area greater than eight inches.
4. You have a terminal illness and are in the last stages.
5. Whatever damage that has been done has caused over a pint of blood to be lost.

Never physically hit chicks with my body or with anything held,
so projectiles, and things that launch objects in a non-lethal force are okay.

This article is exempt when any of these conditions are met:

1. A life is in danger.
2. Your future lineage is _imminent_ danger.
   Full force is strongly authorized and highly recommended.
   
3. She's evil. (Evil has no gender)
4. She's transforming into a monster.

I feel that these yield long time rewards when followed to the T.

Fille

Lately I have started to grow out my hair to an unparalleled length, when comparing to myself. And responses have been mostly positive.

Me: Hey, Grandma! Like my hair?!
Grandma: 看起來像一個小姐. (You look like a girl.)

My response. Awesome. I can be a manly man yet with delicate features. The Asian androgyny is only okay if it's pretty clear you're a man/woman.

Me: Hey Mom! Like my hair?!
Mom: I don't like how it covers your face, makes you look dirty.

I think I asked my mom three different times throughout the night. Every time she said something different, that was negative.

Me: Hey man, haven't seen you in a long time.
Random Friend: Yeah, your hair is really long now... Lookin' like Bruce Lee.
Me: Cool, huh?!
Random Friend: Yeah, makes your big fu*boop*ing head look a lot smaller.

Finally someone has seen through my plan.
Maybe in the summer I'll cut it, then let it grow into the winter. A poor man's clothes.

Vieux

Prior to the new Twilight/True Blood extravaganza I used to be quite the vampire genre fan. Mainly Buffy, Angel, Hellsing, Underworld, but what sealed the deal was Interview with the Vampire.

No, I did not read the book, which I found out to be heavily leaned towards some of the homosex and almost completely omitted in the film. Yes, I did see Queen of the Damned with the dear late Aaliyah, and yes, it sucked. Aaliyah was hot though. Anne Rice's vampire universe was similar to the Underworld franchise's universe; older vampires are stronger/quicker. So as you age, the stronger and quicker you are. And as a young lad I ate that stuff up like it was the second Dragon Ball Z. Don't pretend at the end of Underworld 2 that you weren't excited to see them fight the ancient vampire and the ancient werewolf!

I always took that to be similar to be in real life. As you grow older, you should become stronger, smarter, and more mature. I have been trying to keep true to this real hard. And it's really funny when I tell people that I have never been better than I am today. And then I am met with an equally humbling statement of "Dayum. You must've been hella dumb/fat/weak/dirty when you were younger."

I know eventually I'll hit a wall and start going in reverse. This physical limitation that will have me one day segway'ing with a diaper on is however absent in the spiritual world. God willing, we can always continue to develop to become that Brad Pitt that kills ten other vampires by himself after they have taken our 10 year old lover.

Terre

I used to hate recycling. I was quick to believe the discrediting rumors that the sorted materials didn't even get recycled at the trash centers. Often in my childhood I would be conscripted by my mother for volunteer work, callousing my hands and my heart towards any kind of litter pick up walks. Bitterness was sown deep as I hated a nature that was obvious to be condemned to destruction.

But after watching Food Inc. and Earth 2100--Before I continue, I just wanted to say Earth 2100 was probably one of the best direct-to-tv movies since Uprising. And I only liked Uprising because it was about Jews and Nazis, and it had the guy from Friends...and they had cool European accents. Anyways, Earth 2100's documentary + grunge comic style story telling reminded me of the game, Infamous and Animatrix at the same time. It's completely believable and a good story. I feel like I have to be part of the solution. Whatever that may be like, I don't know.

The world is on a path to destruction. An industry of meat doomed to implode, a growing frequency of natural disasters, overpopulation, sources of energy, disease, are all problems without even getting into more expressive problems directly created by man towards man(war, tyranny, shi*boop*y mtv). And as I get older I see why it's more and more important to be a man of God. We are unable to face all of these gigantic problems alone.

Without really having read Revelations I don't really want to link it anymore towards the Bible in fear of getting shi*boop* wrong.

l'Enveloppe

I am the guy that never gets things until the very end. Like the Matrix. I was waiting for "the one" to show up and be introduced as a new character. But he never came...until the sequel. Who knew it'd be Neo?!

About after a day has passed after I watched Sixth Sense, I finally understood why Haley Joel Osment could see Bruce Willis; it was cause he was dead!

That is however what gets me to this. America as well as the rest of the 'developed world' loves to push the envelope; yes, I'm slow. It is in everything we do. I guess that's what keeps it interesting, but eventually it'll hit a wall...like now. Pushing it to the limit, so to speak, has often led to revolutionary ways and improvements in terms of life.(Civil rights, woman's rights) Often being able to argue for these 'revolutionary' ideas puts you in a golden shower of praise because there's no way you can really logically argue against it without being a bigot. Except that season has now passed. People continue to look for things to push, but there is no where left for things to move.

I don't understand why homosexuals spend so much time trying to argue for their own rights for marriage, when they can have Civil Unions(Even though in certain states you can get married). So they have to spend a bit more money...than traditional marriages... and forgo a small bit of tax cuts and other stuff.

The infidelity rates for homosexuals is sky high, so they're unlikely to get married anyway. My point is not even focused on this, but I just wanted to point it out. When there are other things going on in the world like, North Korean refugees, every other African country, Chinese censorship, Chinese censorship, that small tidbit for gays seems so minor and the effort is undeserved when compared to those other crises.
---
Why not have shows on regular TV with graphic sex? America is so tied up and prude! Kids have to know eventually.

When people say things like that, my eyes glaze over. These are usually the same people that give standing ovations to Requiem for a Dream on the fifth time watching it. Call me an escapist, but I like my movies to bring me some kind of joy. If I want knowledge, I'll watch documentaries. To see the real world, I'll read BBC and the local news. And if I want to be challenged to think; I'll read the Bible and other spiritual mojo. I don't want to see some indie-graphic, cult classic that in reality sucks, cause you wouldn't watch it with your mother.

Don't get me wrong. It was well made, in terms of artistic talent(writing, directing, lighting). But I don't care, at all. It's like putting poop into a cake mix. Might have been the best tasting thing in the world since Manna, but in it is a bunch of shi*boop*.

This post has deviated from the original topic. I actually wanted to talk about a fresh new movie that was at the Cannes Film Festival. It's also called, Antichrist, despite having nothing to do with the Antichrist or explain it in the movie. A real winner. I'll just leave this out there... as an intro.

The film has also come under attack for its explicit and often disturbing sexuality, including the opening scene showing a toddler falling to its death while He and She have sex on the bed nearby. The film has also invited controversy for its graphic sexual violence. In one controversial scene, She hits His testicles with a wooden plank so hard that it is implied they are crushed...

I just can't believe it won anything even if the actress was awesome(which is what it won). I almost can't believe it was shown, either. The thing that gets me the most is I bet there was some Indie McIndie-douche bag wearing a beret with thick black framed glasses that gave it a standing ovation for five minutes. And then he went home to blog about how great it was.
I should just make a movie of myself dropping a deuce and turn it into a film festival, and I bet that same guy would think it's awesome. And I'd win best actor.

Man, I think I'd be pretty good at smashing testicles with wooden planks too, maybe I should get in on the sequel.

UPDATED: The movie actually gets worse I just censored it because of Twig. Thanks for the heads up though, Twig.

Mon Dieu

There goes not a day when I am behind the wheel in which a fellow motorist would pass me immediately after driving behind me for three seconds. They would then proceed to signal switching, pass me and then go in front of me with their hand outside their window with their middle finger firmly posted up.

However a few nights ago that was not the case. After chilling out at Braums for about two hours I had pigged out on two double dip cones for four dollars. Being lactose intolerant, ice cream has a strange random factor to it in the relationship between the toilet and my butt. Sometimes it'll be a regular anaconda. Sometimes it would be like a rapid fire vulcan cannon from an Apache Helicopter. So about another hour after that, I really had to drop a deuce. So, I was smashing my accelerator through the floor of my car to go home. After stopping at every red light and crying out to Jesus, I finally made it back in time.

Now that I think about it. There has never been a time where my cries to the Lord have been unanswered. Actual, physical cries. Cries from my mouth, in which are usually followed by a train of profanity and expletives describing my situation. The direness of the situations are subjective. However, to me they were the most dire of dire events.

Psalm 22:5(NIV)
⁵ They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

There was another time within last summer that there was a similar situation. I skateboarded to the park to work out on the playground since I'm too lazy to drive to school...even though it's like ten minutes away...if I hit every stoplight.

So, I was at the playground alternating between dips and pull ups. However, I was breathing incorrectly, and I did not realize it until I just finished... I started seeing blue spots and had trouble breathing. That's when it hit me. I had to go to the bathroom, and it would be an upside down volcanic session.

So I forced myself onto my skateboard and pushed about four times before I nearly collapsed and laid on the side of the sidewalk. Fully under the impression that my death was imminent I did not want anyone to know I crapped my pants messily right before then. This was a delicate operation. I couldn't wait too long or I'd deuce my pants. If I pushed too hard, I would faint and then decorate my pants with shi*boop*. A balance to achieve neither from above was required but was a must.

So I prayed to God, with all my might, did a man-roar to God and tore my clothes. I clenched my butt together to prevent any eruptions. I got on my skateboard and pushed about another eight times before I collapsed once again. I shaved my head with grief, said another prayer and pushed about another four times and collapsed. I got on my skateboard and poured oil over my head and skated one last time to collapse in the grass of my front lawn and just waited.

Coincidentally, my dad was working on the roof that day and saw me. After staring at me peculiarly, he went back to hammering. Practically kicking every door in on my way to the toilet I sat on my throne and let myself reign.