To counter my debbie downer article I feel that I must uplift the atmosphere with a quick list of things that make me smile. When these things happen, know that if I have a sour face on I am most definitely having a party inside. It would not just be any kind of party either. This would be like a wedding, banquet, paint ball, and eating yogurt all at the same time.
Sudden Random Violence
- After viewing it for the 1000th time it has lost some effect. But I did realize early on that this kind of humor would always be a part of me despite if what I found funny was meant to be or not.
Expression of Extreme Anger (around 1:40-2:45 is the best part)
- I think this is one of the reasons I am so good at making people mad, online. I for some reason like to make people I don't like, mad. That sounds a bit sadistic and shows a lack of character in my part. But it feels good. Doing it in person, of course, is not nearly as fun, for I may end up in a dumpster, naked.
- I think in part, I also like to see how people express their feelings, even if they're sad. It is a part of my human inquisitiveness, I suppose.
The Smell of New Paper
- The only thing that beats the smell of a new car, or a new house.
- In elementary school when the teacher would pass us our freshly printed out tests, before I failed them I would sniff it until the examination was over.
Other things but not exclusively in any order... girls, food, fat money checks, dancing, new dumb rap music, girly music, and speaking mandarin with _native/fluent female_ speakers. (For the love of God, please be fluent. )
Over the years as I age correlations have been consistently been proven in what pisses me off. What started off as tiny aberrations and irritating flickers have bottled up inside me until I can barely control myself. When any of these happen please do not be around me for I fear you will see me grab the nearest sharp object and jab my own eyes out after I tear out my ears.
People clapping while watching movies or sports(on TV) .
- Why do people do this?! It is highly unlikely that anyone that had anything to do with any of what you are watching will hear your clap and appreciate it.
Small innocuous sounds that take the place in the following
- Flossing
- Any kind of noises that result from sucking or blowing through the mouth/teeth in an effort to clean it(usually after a meal).
- Chewing lip-smackingly loudly
I don't understand why. Maybe I have repressed memories of being beaten and taken advantage of in a basement for weeks by a sex offender named "The Flosser", who used to suck and blow to clean his mouth while he beat me up. Which explains why noises like these send me into a fit of blind rage. After a few plucks of string or sessions of mastication I will have lost all memory after that. I would then wake up on a pile of bodies and a mouth full of dried blood that did not belong to me and most likely naked.
Java, the object oriented programming language.
- I suck at Java and taking a class without doing the pre-reqs to introduce it all has sucked all the joy from my life. Food tastes of ash, and I get lazy eyed while riding roller coasters because of it.
While minor in all aspects for some reason these things make me cuss out popes, and toddlers as well as yelling at hamsters.
